Recruiting

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive of your level make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you.”

One day while walking down the street a highly successful businessman was tragically hit by a bus and he died. His soul arrived up in heaven where he was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive of your level make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” said the man.

“Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in @#!*% and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in @#!*% .”

“Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven,” said the man.

“Sorry, we have rules...”

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to @#!*% .

The doors opened and he found himself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of his were all his friends—fellow executives that he had worked with—all well dressed and cheering for his. They ran up to him, embraced him warmly and talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where he enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

He met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of funny) and he had a great time telling jokes and dancing. He was having such a good time that before he knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook his hand and waved goodbye as he got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for him.

“Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven,” he said. So he spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. He had a great time and before he knew it his 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got him.

“So, you've spent a day in @#!*% and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity.”

The man paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in @#!*% .”

So St. Peter escorted his to the elevator and again he went down-down-down back to @#!*% .

When the doors of the elevator opened this time he found himself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. He saw his friends now dressed in rags, picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to him and put his arm around him.

“I don't understand,” stammered the man, “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all that’s here is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at him, smiled and said…

“Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an employee… !!”

 

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