How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
- Written by Ben Witherington
Charismatic: Only 1 – Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10 – One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Recruiting
- Written by Author Unknown
“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive of your level make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you.”
You Can't Take It With You
- Written by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein
There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very much aggrieved because he had worked very hard for his money, and he wanted to be able to take it with him to Heaven.
It's All Relative
- Written by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein
A man is praying to God, "Lord," he prays, "I would like to ask you a question."
Three Friends
- Written by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein
Three friends are killed in a car accident and meet up at an orientation session in Heaven.
The Old Lady and the Atheist
- Written by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein
A little old Christian lady comes onto her front porch every morning and shouts, "Praise the Lord!"
And every morning the atheist next door yells back, "There is no God!"
The Bishop and the Golf Game
- Written by Author Unknown
A young bishop was an avid golfer. One Sunday, his meetings ended early and he decided to sneak out by himself for a quick nine holes.
The Well
- Written by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein
A man stumbles into a deep well and plummets a hundred feet before grasping a spindly root, stopping his fall.
The Three Pints
- Written by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein
An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar, orders three pints of Guiness, and drinks them down, taking a sip from one, then a sip from the next, until they're gone. He then orders three more.
The Bishop and the Baby
- Written by Author Unknown
A Bishop was holding a leadership meeting. A baby in the nearby nursery was crying, making it difficult for the Bishop to conduct the meeting. He excused himself and left the room.