Taoism:   @#$%! happens.

Confucianism:   Confucius say, "@#$%! happens."

Buddhism:   If @#$%! happens, it is not really @#$%!.

Zen Buddhism:   What is the sound of @#$%! happening?

Hinduism:   This @#$%! happened before.

Islam:   If @#$%! happens, it is the will of Allah.

Judaism:   Why does this @#$%! always happen to us.

Shintoism:   Everything except Japan is @#$%!.

Sikhism:   The Indian caste system is a bunch of @#$%!.

Catholicism:   @#$%! happens because you are bad.

Eastern Orthodox:   Rome don't know @#$%!.

Presbyterianism:   Let @#$%! happen to someone else.

Lutheranism:   If @#$%! happens, have faith and it will stop.

Anglicanism:   Henry the VIII didn't take no @#$%!.

Pentecostalism:   @#$%! happens in tongues.

Seventh-day Adventism:   @#$%! happens every day but Saturday.

Jehovah's Witness:   Want to buy a subscription to our @#$%!.

Christian Science:   If @#$%! happens, don't worry; it will go away on its own.

Jainism:   @#$%! happens but don't step in it.

Born Again:   @#$%! happens, but I'm saved.

Scientology:   This @#$%! is expensive.

New Age:   Crystal power counteracts @#$%!.

Jesuitism:   If @#$%! happens and no one hears it, did it really make a sound?

Hare Krishna:   @#$%! happens, Rama, Rama.

Satanism:   @#$%! rules!

Atheism:   @#$%! happens so God doesn't exist.

Agnosticism:   Maybe @#$%! happens and maybe it doesn't.

Stoicism:   So @#$%! happens. Big Deal. I can take it.

Hedonism:   When @#$%! happens, enjoy it!

Rastafarianism:   Let's smoke this @#$%!.

Native American Church:   We want our @#$%! back.

RLDS:   Brigham's full of @#$%!.

Mormonism:   It's evil to say @#$%!.