A man is praying to God, "Lord," he prays, "I would like to ask you a question."

Three friends are killed in a car accident and meet up at an orientation session in Heaven.

A little old Christian lady comes onto her front porch every morning and shouts, "Praise the Lord!"

And every morning the atheist next door yells back, "There is no God!"

A young bishop was an avid golfer. One Sunday, his meetings ended early and he decided to sneak out by himself for a quick nine holes.

A man wrote a letter to the IRS saying…

A man stumbles into a deep well and plummets a hundred feet before grasping a spindly root, stopping his fall.

An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar, orders three pints of Guiness, and drinks them down, taking a sip from one, then a sip from the next, until they're gone. He then orders three more.

When Thompson hit seventy, he decided to change his lifestyle completely so that he could live longer.

MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.